3 simple ways to sound confident and competent in any conversation

3 simple ways to sound confident and competent in any conversation3 simple ways to sound confident and competent in any conversationEach week, I interview founders, CEOs, and investors who run multi-million dollar companies.Every one of them is incredibly professionally successful, with decades of experience running million-dollar companies and venture-backed startups.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraYes, it can be nerve-wracking. The first time I interviewed a founder, I started sweating so much that my legs stuck to my chair. But interviewing is part of my job as an editor at athought leadership agencywhere I spend between five to seven hours per week talking with people across various industries- biotech, retail, marketing, finance, you name it.In other words, it requires a lot of confidence from me.The thing is, people rarely feel comfortable diving into detail if the part th eyre speaking with doesnt sound confident and competent, regardless of whether theyre dealing with a high-level executive or simply a new co-worker.After holding hundreds of interviews, here are a few tips Ive learned to speak with confidence1 Use your voice to make a strong first impressionPeopleestablish a first impressionof you in the time it takes to say hello.While some vocal qualities can immediately rub you the wrong way- shrill, scratchy, squeaky- a voice can also be a great tool to portray confidence and connect with someone.Personally, I use this to my advantage since all of my interviews are held over the phone. Theres no body language to interpret, no eye contact, no silent cues. So my ability to connect with someone relies heavily on how I speak.The key is to adjust your voice based on the situation and the perception you want to convey.So if youre aiming to sound competent and trustworthy,research has shownits best to adopt a lower-pitched voice. But to exude warmth, y ou want to raise your pitch. Of course, there are differences when it comes to gender. Women with ahigher-pitched voiceare perceived to be warm, while men with the same vocal trait come across as more friendly and less dominant.An easy way to check your vocal characteristics is to try saying the same phrase in a high and low pitch, and then see how people react to one versus the other. Personally, I have a naturally low voice. So when I say hello in my normal pitch, people respond back with a more serious tone. But if I use a higher-pitched hello, my calls start off on a cheerful note. While it may sound like a basic experiment,researchshows this type of vocal matching allows people to empathize and engage with one another.Remember, the goal is to create a connection with the first thing that comes out of your mouth.2 Reference a previous conversation or similar experienceRemembering what someone said shows an amazing amount of competence and care.Say you have a quick chat with a co lleague on Friday about your weekend plans. Youre going to a concert, hes trying out a new restaurant. You both go your separate ways. But as you roll into the office on Monday, he asks, Hey, how welches that concert on Saturday night? Was the band good live? He actually rememberedwhat you said three days ago.Now, you feel a connection and are more likely to share your funny story from the show.Looping in details from a previous chat is conversation 101. But just like its tough to remember what you ate for lunch, its tough to recall every detail from every conversation. If you focus your monkey mind and take notes to help remember an important detail or two, youll sound confident the next time you talk to them. You already have a great way to start the conversation- and to make them feel instantly comfortable.And when youre trying to relate to someone, remembering the little details quickly gets you beyond the automatic, My weekend was great.3 Understandwhoyoure speaking to so you k nowwhatto talk aboutNothing kills confidence (or a conversation) faster than saying, I have no idea what youre talking about.I learned this very quickly when I started atDigital Pressand began working with a blockchain expert. She co-founded a high-growth startup that was on the cutting-edge of one of the buzziest topics in the tech space- talk about intimidating. I still do basic math with my fingers, so blockchain was exponentially beyond my comfort and knowledge zone.But I did a number of things to learn more about her and the industryTook a trip down Googles blockchain for beginners rabbit holeListened to talks and podcasts about the technologySpent time reading industry news and articles she had authored and sharedScrolled through LinkedIn and social accounts for information about her work and interestsLooking back, it was clear I didnt know what I was talking about on those first calls. But I became more confident after a few weeks, and we began diving deeper into difficult co ncepts. Im nowhere near understanding the intricacies of blockchain- looking at you, cryptography- yet I feel engaged when talking about it because Ive developed a base knowledge.When it comes down to it, most people enjoy sharing their expertise if you show interest and can navigate the basics.Yes, it takes time to be able to sound confident without relying on body language or social cues. But if you can make an immediate connection, understand the partie youre speaking to, and show genuine interest, youre going toincrease your confidence- and others confidence in you, too.This article first appeared on Minutes Magazine.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people